Fourth of July Memories

Celebrating July fourth this past week I was reminded of all the family reunions held in July over the years. My Aunt Rita hosted many of them when I was young; she had 10 children and a pool. What were another 50 or so people in her yard and house? My grandmother, Della, was in her glory with her family surrounding her … laughing … swimming … recalling the good old times. My grandmother was the first in the family affected with Alzheimer’s.



In more recent years the family all headed up to a cousin’s beach house on Lake Erie. It was there as an adult I listened to “the greatest generation” share their stories and learned things about my father’s family. My Aunt Terry showed us the secrets to my grandmother’s German Potato Salad that many of us thought was lost to us when my grandmother developed Alzheimer’s. Her daughter, my cousin, asks me for help as she copes with caring for her. As my Aunt Terry is in the advanced stages my cousin deals with Aunt terry’s confusion and inability to care for herself, identifying this as “a horrible disease.” My Aunt Mary shared stories of her years in the convent. She celebrated 65 years as a nun this past May. In her Alzheimer’s she’s delighted to see her brother Art, who is actually her nephew and my brother, who does look just like my dad who passed away 27 years ago. Art falls into the role of my dad and plays along for Mary’s sake, living in her moment, enjoying a laugh at the past. Gone is their other brother Elmer, lost to Alzheimer’s in 2005. He made it to a few of those reunions, travelling all the way from Oregon. This is just my dad’s side of the family that is or was affected; my grandmother, Uncle Elmer, Aunt Mary, and Aunt Terry. I am hoping the two youngest Rita and Bernie are spared.



My Aunt Betty, my mom’s sister, has been in a nursing home for several years now slipping into the advanced stages. As my mother’s Alzheimer’s robs her of her memory I have offered to make the 2 hour drive to visit Aunt Betty hoping she will go. I think my mother’s fear of seeing herself down the line stops her and she finds an excuse not to go.



So this Fourth of July we had a mini reunion here in Louisiana and my brother Art visited with my niece and nephew. We reminisced about reunions past while we strolled through the D-Day Museum. We talked about dad and my uncles and their service during the war and I was once again reminded that Alzheimer’s is indiscriminate in its wake as my brother shared the stories of my Uncle Joe’s last years, lost to Alzheimer’s. The last reunion on the lake I remember Uncle Joe, my Aunt jean’s husband, being in another world thinking we nieces were all young ladies at a USO party. He bantered and humored us and I kept it as a precious memory seeing a glimpse of the young man he once was. I was heartbroken to learn that his last years were difficult and his Alzheimer’s changed this wonderfully pleasant man into an unhappy ornery one.



So as we celebrated July 4th and Independence Day I was struck with thoughts of how many lose their independence to Alzheimer’s. As I saw the fireworks burst in the sky my thoughts were of each of my aunts, my uncles, my grandmother, my mom and how they were each once bursting with energy and shone so bright like those fireworks…and as the night sky went dark so too Alzheimer’s robs them of their light. The Fourth of July will never be the same.