WHEN YOUR LOVED ONE CAN NO LONGER LIVE INDEPENDENTLY

As we age, we may need extra help at home or need to move to a place that provides care.  As a family member or caregiver, you may need to help your loved one in the decision process and during the transition.

How do you know when your loved one can no longer live on his or her own?

Sometimes an illness, injury, or changing health will determine when a person needs to make a change. The need for change may also happen gradually over time. Signs that may indicate the need for a change include:

• Having difficulty eating, dressing, bathing, or using the toilet
• Forgetting to take medications or taking too many
• Behaving in ways that could be hurtful to themselves or to others, such as forgetting to turn off appliances
• Wandering from home or other signs of memory loss.

How do you talk about making a change?

Accepting change can be hard. Try being open and honest about what you see.

• Clearly state why you think independent living is no longer a good idea
• Listen to the person’s concerns; Reassure him or her you will do what you can to address those concerns
• Include your loved one in making the decision about where to live, if possible

Where should your loved one live?

When a person can no longer live alone, help him or her decide what type of living situation is best. Some options include:

• Staying at home with additional assistance
• Moving in with family or friends
• Assisted living communities
• Residential card facilities
• Skilled nursing facilities

What if your loved one resists making a change?

• Give the person time to get used to the idea
• Encourage the person to talk about how he or she feels
• Listen to concerns.  He or she may be worried about not liking the new place, about finances or about what will happen to the family home and belongings
• Provide clear, honest answers
• Ask for help from friends, family, a doctor or another respected person
• Ask the person to agree to a trial period

What can you do to help make it a positive move?

• After a move, ask friends and family to visit often, call, or send cards and letters
• Reassure the person; talk about the positive reasons for the move, such as security, comfort, companionship or professional care
• Allow the person time to adjust